“Open your heart. Someone will come. Someone will come for you. But first you must open your heart.”
He was planning next 5 years with her, secretly hoping that even after 5 years they will still be together. He couldn’t imagine how much it would take him to stay with her. She was enough; she had anything he wanted, plus a cherry on top. She was enough, that he had to talk himself into going to see other friends.
He was dreaming to open his heart to her. With her he can. Can he really?
She’s open with everybody. Can it be like that? He didn’t know if he’s ready to share her open heart with somebody else.
“There is a sacredness in tears….They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.”
She has never seen him cry. Throwing offences at him during fights, she was often repeating that he probably doesn’t even have a heart, otherwise he would have felt something, would have said something seeing as she was falling apart into small pieces right in front of him to his feet.
This time is was different. At first she didn’t even understand what was that noise. He was crying. Pressed into her shoulder and squeezing his hug into a tight 18th century corset, he was crying. Crying and howling. It seemed that those sharp breaths of air will tear his chest from inside.
“Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously sorry, I turned away.”
He even looked less like himself.
She was waiting for those words for 4 years. Imagining how she’ll hear them for the first time, how she’ll react, how her heart will burst from happiness. Now she didn’t need them. It was clear as it is. Any words would just spoil it. Words wouldn’t be able to express the meaning and would have made it all more banal and unimportant. She had to kiss him quickly so that he wouldn’t have a chance to say it. The kiss had said the rest.
“Your flowers grow in the frozen snow
And I’d like to know if it’s all a show”
He asked the fortune-teller, whether he can have something with that girl. Fortuneteller didn’t have an answer. He asked his friends if he has a chance with her. Friends could not answer because the did not even know her. He asked her if they would have something. She said nothing.
While you’re asking questions, there’ll be no answers. When you start doing something, you stop needing the answers, answers simply become the reality around you.
She didn’t know what to reply about a future with somebody, since she didn’t have a future of her own. She smiled a bit sadly and said: “Maybe.”
/attempt to write in romantic style/