Last few month I was finding it very hard to write.
Part of it was due to few weeks of super busy schedule where I managed to get myself to hallucinations from sleep deprivation. However most of it was simply because I was happy and didn’t feel like writing. Probably the first time in my life when I could honestly say “happy” without simultaneously saying in my head “… if by happy you mean…… “
So is this how the rest of the world feels when they say “I’m ok”? This is how other people function? No wonder they manage to get things done and keep their heads up.
Apparently people in movies who dance at public transport stops from cheerfulness, sign along to the music in
headphones and smile through troubles and bad news are actually real. They exist! And I can join the club.
It’s been a combination of many factors that couldn’t have happened sooner, but small part of me wonders how would life go if younger (little?) me would know that this is the normal thing and not the crap I thought life was all about. However now it’s hard to bother about “what if”s. Wonder if those are side affects too.
In a way, this zen attitude didn’t only stop me from writing but thrown into state of information craving. Sort of shifting focus from “put it out” into “take it in”. And it’s interesting for me to notice how it changed my reasons and motivations for writing. I wonder how it would affect the content of the blog and how would YOU take it.
What do you think? Do you have a state of mood that you define as “normal”?