You never know where your last time will be. Last time of seeing somebody, last goodbye kiss, some day your last sex and so on..
When I’m talking or writing, I often think of how I would change it if I knew for sure that this is the last time. That right now it’ll be the last time I kiss this person and after that I’ll get into the car crash. That right now I’ll have sex with this person and then we’ll have a huge fight and won’t see each other anymore. That now you’re talking with this person over a cup of mint tea and after that you’ll get on the train to move to another city for the rest of your life. Would I change something if I knew?
Probably not. Not anymore.
Instead, I’m watching paralyzed as all is falling off the cliff, and won’t even stretch out the hand in some spasm of an attempt to save and get saved. Because when you know that this is exactly the last time.. doesn’t matter of what.. your body get pierced by needles of sober understanding. Intoxicating..