MUSIC OF THE 40S AND NEW YEAR’S WISHES

By : rusalka kapradinova

Oh the Christmas holidays! It’s wonderful time when one wants to believe in magic and at the same time to kill yourself. Never during the whole year I’m same happy as during the week before New Year. When celebrating New Year in Europe it’s even easier. Catholic Xmas come sooner than usual, which means that I’ll be poisoning people’s lives one week more. In advance so to say.

This year December became a month of surprises. Good ones and not so much. I don’t know if surprises can be actually bad, because in any case a surprise is already something that astonished me, therefore by default it’s something very pleasant. The “pleasant” list was very various.
I almost broke up with winter this time. There was no actual snow. At least the frosty air wasn’t failing. It wasn’t failing so much that I had to unpack winter clothes that I didn’t even take out last year.
Who would have thought that a small step out of my own comfort zone and the limits of the city, and you can suddenly find a frozen kingdom that would gladly wet my bangs with the snow falling from trees.
Yeah, BTW, if you have some issues with health, then being stubborn and long walks is exactly what you need. I think my asthma was a bit shocked of my arrogance, but i think it was also have some good time as well.

Sitting comfortably with a cup of tea and a tangerine, I can dive into the warmth of Xmas spirit. For some reason I like catholic Xmas more than my own. I think the reason hides in the fact that it is sooner, that it’s before New Year – I can enjoy decorations,  sparkly lights, frosty breath and cute things in shops’ windows, and I don’t have to think that after midnight there’ll be already another year.. Another year, 365 days of unpredictableness, open possibilities and chances to fuck it all up.

Last year I made a list for myself, a list of thing I want to accomplish. So what happened?

  • keep doing contrast showering
    more or less
  • get really deep into lucid dreaming
    emm.. nope
  • exclude sea food
    no-no
  • eat more fruits
    surprisingly yes
  • eat when i’m hungry and not just bored
    yes, next step is not to solve depression with food
  • find 10 minutes to meditate every day
    more or less ok
  • write in blog at least once per week
    sometimes managed
  • try raw food recipes
    yes
  • read, read way more
    yes
  • learn 10 favorite sounds on piano
    nope, just 2
  • don’t waste time on unimportant things
    oh the failure…

The journey of a thousand of lesson gave me a lot, and if I end up making a new list i’ll make it really putting thoughts into it. One of the things that is not even on this list made me the most happy of them all – the ability to accept gifts and just enjoy them. I got my gifts, I got myself, I got my Christmas.

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