Despite highly functioning intuition, I still value immensely some technical moments that simplify communication. For a long time I was attempting to come up with an algorithm of humanoid interaction. Guess what, I might have just.
Some communications are not so close or important – like classmates, colleagues, random relatives etc. But there’re people in everyone’s lives who matter more – friends and loved ones – the people we choose to have around willingly.
So.. I thought.. what if I exclude 3 aspects of interaction that generally are very important but also very very temporary.. and see what happens. Let’s start.
Well, or visual attractiveness in general.
Perhaps, the most fleeting of all. Even when a person is in good health – eats well, takes care of own appearance and yadda-yadda healthy things to do – nevertheless, sooner or later old age or unexpected sickness can take it all away either slowly or suddenly. No matter how loud you plead life to move the deadline, wrinkles will find their way to your face, slender figure cannot be conserved and so on. Yes, those things depend directly on person’s actions.. But! No one can get an unbreakable insurance against accidents. Would you stay with the person when his/her face gets disfigured in a fire and body gets mutilated in a car accident.
With friends there’s definitely less pressure.. But waking up each morning to a person that you don’t only find unattractive, but actually find repelling – is a totally different level of acceptance.
This can work both once it’s a plus and also a minus.
Mostly people want a lot of money. Specially it becomes important for a social entity “couple” and later “family”: more money = happiness and status.
Life is full of surprises, sometimes also bad ones – firing, inflation, devaluation.. Hmm, will your partner stay with you if you can’t take him/her to a restaurant or would walk him/her home instead of driving in a fancy car? Or (oh my god!) if the life situation would require your partner to pick up the slack and pay for things? No..? When what is this person doing next to you?
The situation can as well be opposite – you’re suddenly rich. A trial for both your friends and partners. It is a very specific feeling when you’re living by the side of a person who doesn’t read prices and, what’s even worse, gets surprised why you do.
Personally I agree that both happiness and sorrow test people equally.
Originally I called this point “sex” but then realized that it wasn’t specific enough.
Regarding romantic relationships I guess I could have left it as it was. Problems are quite unlimited – health issues, long distance travel, psychological barriers. Here (god bless my soul) nothing works as good as one quote: Sex is truly amazing with someone whose presence is amazing even without sex.
However, I chose “intimacy” because it’s not always sex that works as the glue but some specific electrified tactility – chemistry necessary even between friends. For example how the heterosexual guys hug at emotionally meaningful moments – zero sexuality but a signal “i’m here for you”.
Ironically the aspects above are often the only reasons people stick with each other.
I don’t know truth, but I’m definitely sure not many relations can survive those three filters. And those who can’t pass.. I cannot call you a friend.. my dear dear friend.