This dream is chasing me almost all my life. I regularly fall into in once or twice per year. I constantly dive into horrifying feeling of being lost and confused. I like when I get some answers in my dreams.. some sort of a personal wikipedia.. but this dream.. this one always throws me into an ocean of questions. And I drown.
As usually I had to take a ride somewhere. The destination was unknown, but I had a route written down. An illusion that I won’t get lost. But I definitely will.
Of course I will take a wrong bus, of course I’ll meet some weirdos on my way that would drag me into some bizarre stories, of course I’ll miss my stop, of course I’ll try to find a way how to come back, but it’ll get me lost even more. Evening switching into night is an important component, this way I’ll have less people to ask the road, official offices will be closed and transport will be rare – no sooner than 1 hour of waiting. Decoration changes but scenario and feelings stay.
I remember the first time I read Mjonin’s Labyrinth, I got into similar state when Max and Melifaro got lost between worlds. I was so worried for them as if it was me. Horror knitted of panics captured me. I was scared they’ll not come back. Of course the book’s author is not J.Martin, but she also enjoy some rough turn of events. This is why that part made my heart beat slower, being frozen by the ice of paralyzing fear.
This night it was different.
The beginning was the same as usual. I was travelling further and further away from home, was switching transport, stopped understanding where I was and where should go to come back.
This time I wasn’t scared. There’s nowhere to return to, there’s only one way. Wherever you’re there’s just moving forward and taking it all. I was still afraid of one thing.. that one day there will be nowhere to return HERE as well, so I’ll take the last step into the dream, moving only forward.