CRISIS OF UNCERTAIN AGE

Different people take important dates like New Year or Birthday in a various manner. I generally have this pattern – panic followed by depression.

Another year is behind. Where is the progress? What was done? – Wait.. look! Check out how much was done!

Well.. Ok, not bad. And that’s all?

Insatiability, perfectionism, emptiness.

Progress doesn’t seem to show up if those things are still present in my life.

In these moments I clearly hear how threads that hold my essence together get torn one by one. As soon as one place is fixed, another one requires repairing. Endless work I must say. Evokes the desire to throw away these tatters which don’t fit.

Through the noise of the sewing shop it is very difficult, but very important and even useful, to hear the voice of support and have a helping hand to shake. Preoccupation with oneself and own problems sometimes does not allow to take a sober look, this is when an independent friendly expert opinion comes in hand, even if this opinion does not realize how much it is a friendly one and an expert one. Another pair of “fresh” eyes – bless my luck, helped me to get my Munchhausen out by his own hair.

I may not have understood all that would now want to be understaning, and not all of my goals are clear as before, but what I am amazed and happy with is those wonderful human beings I meet on my way. At time when you need it and in a way that you need it. Thank you, humans. You are wizards.

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